Several years ago, I had a great opportunity for a job with a high-tech firm in Virginia.  At that time they had more confidence in me than I did, and I was extremely flattered and very tempted to take it. Ultimately I had to pick between that job and  a lesser one four hours away in Northern Virginia.  I chose the latter.

I wanted to be around my sister, who was very sick, and her four children who were very young, the eldest being 5. I knew that I had chosen the better portion, as I never would have had so much time with those four golden-haired beauties if I didn’t take the chance then.

From a career perspective, it seemed the foolish thing to do, but in time I realized that a career or lifelong passion is something that doesn’t just go away. If you tune into it,  you get to work on it all your life. Also, I knew back then that the little ones would grow up very fast, and before you know it the oldest one would be completing her first year at University.

Here are a few pointers I learned along the way:

1. If you have a beating heart, you still have time to do what it is you were meant to do.

2. It may take a while to get there. So just take the little steps, one at a time.

3. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and give yourself time to learn all the things you are going to need to know in order to get to the next step.

4. Be kind to yourself, and you will find that you will naturally be kinder to others.

5. Try to do something each day to work on your passion or toward your goal, even if it is as tiny as writing about a little success you had that day or jotting down an idea in a notebook that you can use later.

Just keep going, like the story we read as a child of The Little Engine That Could, because the alternative could mean missing out on the gold at the end of your rainbow. My gold is still those little angels, and  everything after that is an additional blessing for which I am very grateful!

Have a golden week!

Yours,

Karen

I was thinking about the word Initiate today, because to initiate is to make something happen, get the ball rolling, to start something, whatever that thing is.

Then I thought about another “I” word, Inertia, which is exactly that which stops us, that tendency to remain the same, unchanged as it were. Inertia is that feeling we get, that stopping point we come to and can’t seem to jump over. It’s what separates us from reaching the finish line. You have to push past the inertia to initiate.

Inertia contains inert, as we learned in high school chemistry class; the inert gas is one that is in such a state it doesn’t react with anything. Hmmm, interesting. So, if I merely react to something I can get over inertia.

The next word that popped in my head was inner. Getting over inertia requires an inner choice or action. Thoughts precede actions, at least voluntary actions. Of course, inner contains the word in, because the change is at or “in” the center of us.

Which leads us to the final letter/word “I” if we continue to whittle our word down from initiate. I have to be able to look at my inner most being and see what is causing this inertia (identify the hurdle) so I can choose to jump over it and initiate my next action.

What are some of your hurdles? We would love to hear about them in the ‘leave a reply’ link above…

And speaking of I’s, feast your ‘eyes’ on the beauty around you that will be springtime very soon. It’s already happening down here in the South, as depicted in this photo I snapped a couple of days ago. The eyes certainly do have it!

If you like our blogs, please share them with friends and even enemies, so they won’t be your enemies anymore!

Yours,

Karen

It was a fine Saturday morning, so I decided to walk to my favorite coffee house about a mile from my home. It couldn’t have been a more perfect day, and this in February? The sky was a lovely shade of clear blue, the birds were chirping away, and even the red bud trees were celebrating by revealing their gorgeous pinkish-red buds.

After enjoying my favorite combination (double shot cappo & a biscotti) and feeling like the day couldn’t get any better, I continued my walk around the pretty little (man-made) lakes nearby.

As I was walking I found myself in the midst of a race. The posted signs read: 5k, 10k, 15k, so the participants could do as much or as little walking/running as they wanted. Most folks were walking, suggesting that it was one of those ‘Fun Runs’ and not so much for competition. So I decided to ‘join in’ since we were all heading in the same direction. It was a merry crowd, some walkers even dressed up in the purple, green and gold of Mardi-Gras. Quite a few were wearing tutus!

Now knowing where it commenced, I figured it was early enough in the day that even if the walk took a couple of hours, I could still be home in time to get my work done. So I decided, why not?

I joined in and about a half a mile into it, I realized that I had no idea where the finish line was. I started thinking, “Uh oh, what if the finish line is so far from my house that it takes me hours to walk back? I better ask someone.”

I wasn’t officially part of the race, and I didn’t want to advertise that fact, so I discreetly asked a happy looking lady nearby, “Pardon, me…. so, where is the finish line for this race?”

She was very sweet and answered without missing a step, “Oh, it’s where we started!”

Not wanting to embarrass myself and blow my cover as a race crasher, I sweetly responded, “Yes, of Course. Thank you!”

Hmmm, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting.

So I kept walking anyway. I figured if we kept going away from my home for too long, I would merely retrace my steps and go back. As it turned out, the race ended downtown near the Capitol, which wasn’t terribly far away.

Along the way, I learned a few things:

1. It’s a lot of fun to walk in a race when all the cars have to stop and let you go by.

2. Some adventures aren’t planned. GK Chesterton said that “An adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered”. I remembered this and thought, “This could be an adventure”. The only inconvenient part for me was not knowing the destination.

3. Sometimes we don’t know how things will turn out, but we step out in faith because it could turn out to be something good or fabulous or interesting or helpful or beautiful.

4. It helps so much not to go it alone. Having all those other people walking the same route (even though I wasn’t technically with anyone) gave me confidence that we weren’t walking to some awful destination.

5. There may be some surprises for you in the end. There was a surprise. I had a memorable day, and I also found a set of car keys whose owner was only too happy to get them back.

So, the next time you have a chance to take a chance, see if you might just travel down the road you may have ignored or overlooked before. And if you have a minute, enjoy that very famous poem by poet extraordinaire, Robert Frost…

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Yours,

KJH

You are Here

I was driving on a highway in Upstate New York one fall day with my mother, and I thought we had taken a wrong turn. We were on our way to Oneonta to see my youngest sister who was a student there. As such, we were supposed to be on I-88 and instead we were on I-90. Those two little numbers made a very big difference.

“Weren’t we supposed to go that way? I asked trying my best not to be a back seat driver.

“No, I know where I’m going.” Mom said decidedly.

About an hour into the ride we decided to stop at one of those highway rest-stops, and I thought it might be beneficial to go look at the “You are here” map.

“You see where we are, Mom?” I asked, doing my best not to snicker.

“Uh huh.” She said.

No explanation needed after that, but it got me to thinking about why we are HERE, you know, on planet Earth. And I came up with the answer that we’re here to fulfill a mission and then help other people fulfill theirs. It’s so simple, kind of like the map. So what might be your mission? And how can I help you to get there? Let me know below…

Yours,

KJH

I walked over a very pretty and sturdy bridge today. It was lovely to see the water beneath and the water fowl in their usual spots among the rushes. But what struck me about the bridge was the bridgey-ness of it, the strong steel girders and the heavy concrete floor, which made my traversing it effortless. I have walked over that very bridge probably 100 times, but for some reason today I actually thought about it.

I actually thought about the fact that someone built that bridge so that I (and many others) could cross the divide that lay beneath. It got me thinking about all the people in my life who have been like many little bridges to me: parents, and siblings, teachers and coaches, friends and colleagues, and my spouse, to name a few. All these people and many more helped me get from point A to point B, whether it was learning how to tie my shoes, ride a bike, drive a manual shift (that was scary!!), or make a great tasting pasta sauce. It has taken a town-full of people to cross over the many bridges in my life.

What about you? Who are some of the bridges in your life? Do you ever think about these people and how they helped you get to where you are today? Maybe say a little prayer for one of them, or give them a call, or better yet, send a wee note in the mail. Maybe you’ve been a bridge for someone or lots of someones. Doesn’t it feel good to be that sturdy structure in their life?

Have a Beautiful day, and I hope you notice one bridge today. I hope it will make you smile!

Yours,

KJH

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And click on Get Fit!, to find out how to sign up for our weight loss program (Begins March 3rd) if you want to get rid of  those unwanted pounds before the warm weather gets here! Space is limited, so sign up today!

Yours,

KJH

Are you thin enough, smart enough, rich enough?

When is enough enough? Never.

Most of us love the autumn because we are back into a routine, the weather is nice and cool, the colors outside are festive and cheerful, and we might even enjoy some fall activities. One of the things I enjoyed as a child were the ‘Grange Suppers’ that would be served down the road at the Farmer’s Grange Hall. It was walking distance from our home in Upstate NY, and it was one place my parents could take us (a family of 8) all out for dinner without breaking the bank. These sweet little ladies would serve us family-style roast beef with gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans and apple and pumpkin pies for dessert. It would usually be a perfect fall day with the giant maple trees in all of their glorious spender up against a clear blue sky all huddled around the white clapboard building, itself a blast from the past. What a sight!

Nothing compared to that feeling of eating good home-cooked food with friends and family on a perfect fall day. No one was worried about thier waistline, their bank account or their feats of accomplishment. There we were just neighbors sharing a meal on a beautiful fall day. It was enough of a memory that just thinking about it makes me smile.

So, for today stop worrying about all that other stuff. Let’s be thankful for all the gifts that God has given us. You don’t have to believe in Him, but I can’t do anything but believe. There is just too much beauty around for me to ignore Him. Have a beautiful day, and take a look outside while it is still autumn. It won’t last forever!

Yours,

KJH

photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

In my last blog, I had to trim back my very healthy bougainvillea because it was infested with the dreaded Virginia Creeper. One of the other things I noticed about it was that it was becoming so gnarly that it was turning into a wound up ball of prickly branches. It appeared to be turning in on itself. That got me to thinking about how easy it is for me, even when I am trying to do my very best, to get caught up in my own weeds and focus too much on the immediate, or on my own program.

Has that ever happened to you?  You know, you’re going along working on a project and someone inevitably needs to discuss something with you or get you to do something ‘right now’. It always feels like such an intrusion. “Yes, as soon as I finish this”, is my typical answer.

It is my job to help my clients get to their finish lines with as few distractions as possible. So what I am going to say next may come as a surprise: Look at the needs of others as possible adventures for yourself.  Some new insight might come along as you assist your co-worker for a few minutes even though you really need to get that project finished.

You will like yourself a lot more if you put others first. You may not get everything done to perfection or in record time, but you will have put your mind at ease because you helped someone when they needed you most. Perhaps you will even find a fresh perspective when you go back to working on your own project. It will also make you the kind of person others will appreciate and love to work with.

And while we are on the subject, there is another aspect of growing out of ourselves to consider. The most interesting and enjoyable people are those who are interested… in others, in ideas, in learning. It is the uninterested who are challenging to be around, precisely because that seem to have grown into themselves. This was perfectly depicted in the film The Aviator with Leonardo DiCaprio’s brilliant performance as the reclusive and very-long fingernailed Howard Hughes (just thinking of those nails gives me the willies). After all he had accomplished, I suppose there was nothing left of interest to him.

So, instead of my misbehaving bougainvillea, think of yourself as a budding rosebush, ever fresh, ever fragrant, enjoying whatever the new day brings, and don’t be afraid to present a bloom to a friend in need.

Yours,

KJH

So my last post was on weeds and how they have to be fed and left to their own devices to keep coming up and getting in our way. I noticed something else this weekend while out weeding. Some of the healthiest, most vibrant weeds were those which could disguise themselves as one of my flowering plants. Looking as closely as I could without the assistance of reading glasses, I found the insidious Virginia Creeper right alongside my bougainvillea. The deep green leaves of each plant helped one to embed within the other. Not any more!  I actually talk to my plants while trying to protect them and let them know that  they are expected to do their part. As painful as it might have been for both of us, I had to prune parts of the bougainvillea in order to get to where the Virginia Creeper was surreptitiously making its way in between the branches.

So, what does this have to do with creating good habits, especially those of the mind? Sometimes our thoughts distract us, get us off on a tangent, or redirect us away from feeding ourselves good food that will yield good results. For example, you start to work on a project and your mind wanders back to that conversation you had a with a family member and how she was wrong and you were right and how dare she say things like that. Playing that tape all over again just gets you away from what you really want to be doing and interrupts your peace of mind, not to mention it just gets you thinking negatively about someone who really may need love and understanding. Another example is when we sometimes confuse activity for productivity and think to ourselves, “As long as I am busy doing something, it is better than doing nothing”. But sometimes that activity is just wearing you out and has no other point.

Next time you are out weeding your garden either of flowers or of the mind, be on the lookout for those sinister ‘look-alikes’. What weeds are getting into your gardens?  Let’s talk about it. E-mail me at karen@karenjhornsby.com or just leave a comment below! As for me, I am going to keep talking to my plants as it seems to be yielding a lovely return on my investment.

Yours,

KJH

Life Source

So, the second part of this ‘Habits as Weeds’ idea is that habits, like weeds, have a life source, and sometimes a little goes a long way. Take, for instance, today. It rained heavily last night, and this morning the weeds in my garden were as perky as ever. I try to get out there at least three times a week to keep them at bay, but after a good solid rain, they come back with a vengeance. And, if you remember from my last blog, their roots tend to be quite shallow, so they can be gotten rid of quite easily.

So too do habits require a life source, especially the ones that take us away from what we really want to accomplish. For example, today I needed to write another blog post, but I started thinking of all the other things I could be doing instead: writing thank you notes, catching up on radio show preparation, calling my mother, doing some laundry, dusting, etc. You name it. It’s that little voice inside my head that says, “You really need to do this, and this and this…” The list is endless. But I have to tell that little voice, “No, no, no! I really need to write this blog, so thanks for the reminder, but back off, sister!”

Like the rain which gives life to my weeds, the little voice isn’t a bad thing, but at the wrong time it can keep gumming up my garden of thought. It is so easy to become distracted, whether it is the ill-timed phone call from a neighbor who wants you to come over to see his birds-of-paradise or the continuous tape we play inside our heads reminding us of all the other stuff we need to be doing.

Most people are best doing one thing at a time and really focusing fully on that. So, next time you become distracted from what really needs to be done, just tell yourself, “Let me finish this first”.  Those other things will be tended to in due time. Happy weeding!

Yours,

KJH