My New Book! Women are NOT Men
1/26/2015 – Help me write my latest book, Women are NOT Men, a fascinating book for women who are told, coached or advised even by the best of men (and some women) on how to be more productive, happier and fulfilled and yet feel that something is missing.
The problem is that women and men are so very different that what works for one sex doesn’t necessarily work for the other. I’ll share better solutions tailored to our nature as women, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, grandmothers and friends. We behave differently in all of these roles than men do in their counterparts, so why on earth would our way to happiness or success say, in our own home-based business, follow the trajectory of a man’s?
This is not a book to bash men. It’s my attempt to take some great suggestions from some well-respected men and women of our day and put a woman’s twist on it. I suspect this shall be great fun!
Check in regularly to see how this little book is progressing…
Introduction – Mind Over Matter
There he was behind bars, and she barely tall enough to peak in and see what all the ruckus was about. The usual relatives were over for a visit to see this latest attraction who simply slept through the whole affair in his light-blue terry-cloth pajamas. “Isn’t he just precious?” she overheard one of the aunts coo. Not sure what the big deal was… Hadn’t anyone ever seen a baby before?
A couple of years had passed and she was thinking about what happened in school that day. “How could they do it? How could they disobey God and be kicked out of that really beautiful garden? I don’t understand these people… but wasn’t Adam clever knowing what to call each of the animals. How could he possibly know all their names?”
Such were the thoughts of a child. With the years that passed, navigating the land of knowledge and deciphering the truth from the half-truths would become a life-long challenge.
At University thinking more about life than school itself… “Who am I going to meet here? When will I get married? How many kids am I going to have? What do I really want to do for a job? I have no idea!!! …Like I really know TODAY what I’m going to want to do FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Are you kidding me?”
And so it continued…
Enter modern-day with all that INFORMATION it brings. Knowledge is everywhere. EVERYWHERE. And a lot of it is FREE! Whoopee! FREE STUFF! Who can resist that?
“I’m going to need a new compass,” she thought. All the books, the online courses, the graduate degrees available. What if she still didn’t know what she wanted to be? There had to be a way to find out. What does everybody else do when they have a problem or can’t figure out the next step? Go to the nearest ‘Self help’ & ‘Motivational’ sections at Barnes & Noble! Or let’s see what’s available at Amazon, so much easier…
So that’s how she got here. SHE. All the SHE’s out there who needed a bit more input just to be sure she was doing everything right. Everything by using BEST PRACTICES. Oh, she’s no fool. She’s going to beat this game called life and on HER terms… and so she read and read and read and read, and I’m pretty sure she’s still reading.
Chapter 1 – Did you ever?
Did you ever read or 20-30 books that were helpful but somehow missed the point?
I read all kind of books. I mean all kind. You should see my house. Oh, it’s somewhat tidy, but I have everything from cookbooks (which I rarely read – sorry, Dear!) to children’s literature (which I love), to biographies to, you guessed it, motivational books. Oh, I have a really good reason for reading those. I started an on-line business with two other women and we basically had to teach ourselves, oh I don’t know, EVERYTHING!!
Why? Because creating an on-line business that’s successful is a lot harder than most of us are willing to admit because then we wouldn’t be able to convince you to start one yourself. Oh, and we really do want you to start one because then we can potentially have you as a client, somewhere down the road. But I digress…
To be fair, I have certainly gained some excellent insights from the stacks and stacks of authors I have consulted over the years. I buy the best, the brightest, the most popular even. But there is something I just don’t understand. Why is it that these books that are supposed to help me just make me feel like I’m supposed to do things the way a man would? Now let me be perfectly clear. I love men. I love my husband. I have wonderful brothers and a loving father and great male friends, but I cannot pretend to go about my day-to-day tasks the way a man would.
The funny thing is that some of these pretty good books are written by women. Like this book called Time Investment, a great book about how to invest vs. manage your time. Excellent concept! But when the author talks about cleaning your house with a casual phrase of “fluff a pillow then be on with your day,” I was like, “Who are you kidding?” You must live in a one-bedroom apartment with your kitty named Mittens. Fluff a pillow? I live in 3000 square foot house. The pillows are the least of my worries. What about the ever-present dust bunnies, the laundry, the ironing, the crumbs under my frig, my pantry that looks like a war zone, my garbage cans full of tissue paper because it’s cold season, the clothes piled up on my desk chair, because oh, I don’t know, my personal valet had the century off? Fluff a pillow! That’s when I lost it.
A man wouldn’t waste his time fluffing a pillow unless he was getting ready to take a nap with it. I can’t possibly just fluff a pillow without thinking of all the other things that need to get done in my day with the inclusion of running a business, keeping the family happy, buying groceries, making dinner, doing dishes, making time for friends, getting in some exercise and all this while not coming across as a frenetic bitch. Yes, if a word fits the bill perfectly, I use it.
So that’s why I have to continue writing this book. I’m going to take some pretty fantastic authors and give my girly version of why certain aspects don’t really work for women. Now you might say that I’m just making excuses for women. Go ahead and say it. I don’t care. Women are different, and I’ll even throw in some science (my least favorite subject and books you’ll only find in my home if my husband is reading them) to prove it. But I don’t even care if the science doesn’t prove it.
We’re different and we’re not just men with inter-changeable body parts. We see differently, hear differently, think differently. Heck we even eat differently, (Generally not as neanderthals like so many men I know and love.) I have a brother who grunts when he eats – he was the precious one in the crib. I’ve never grunted while eating. EVER!
Chapter 2 – My First Victim…
Before I tackle the well-meaning guru’s out there I just need to cover this one BIG subject. The 9-5 job away from home is a like women’s worst nightmare. Now I know that there are some women out there who will say that I am exaggerating, but for the rest of us I speak the truth. By the time you are dressed and ready for work, drive there, work in an office, school, hospital, etc. and then drive home it’s a good ten hours of your day GONE. And with that most of your energy. Oh, sure you may have 4 hours or so when you get home at night – to make dinner, do dishes, help the kids with school projects, etc. But while you were away all day none of the stuff that you know needs to get done gets done. None of it. But there is it waiting for you on your precious little weekend…